(Almost) 12 weeks!

Every week I feel that the baby is growing. Normally towards the end of each week, before Saturday when my new week starts, I feel more pressure and less room in my trousers 🙂

I’m still not showing really, but every time I try to bend down or get myself into a pair of tight trousers I can feel a change. It’s scary because I wanted to keep this a secret at work for as long as possible, but I know that it won’t be possible for a lot longer now. I’ve always been slim and so any changes in my weight won’t go unnoticed. I just know that as soon as I tell my boss it will become this big issue, and she will constantly be changing her mind on what to do now. She changes her mind every five minutes anyway, and me being pregnant with no replacement, will cause a lot of drama…

I have noticed that I’ve been feeling a lot better now most evenings. I don’t get a lot of nausea anymore, but I still go to bed just after 9pm. As soon as week 10 was gone I just started feeling better. Instead I just feel more and more pressure on my bladder. I still get up to pee once a night between 1am and 3am, but now it feels even more painful when I wake up. How can such a small thing, not even a size of a plum yet, have such a big impact on my bladder? It does give me some comfort though, this feeling of the baby growing. I hope it means that everything is ok. And I only have two days now and I will be able to see it for the first time, and hear its heartbeat!

My diet has been a lot better this week too, actually since the last weekend. I’m having a lot of fruits now, same as I used to pre-pregnancy, and even though I still cannot really think about many vegetables, unless those come as a pickle or eventually tomatoes or cucumber, I feel like I have a lot more control now over the foods I eat. I am still craving odd (for me!) things, like meat or savoury things, but it’s not like I have to have this particular thing or else. I can crave something and still know that I won’t have it because it’s not healthy. Red meat is off limits still, and I don’t want to change that. It was a sacrifice enough for me to start eating poultry again, because that was almost the only thing that didn’t make me nauseous. I don’t burp as much as I did before either. Previously every evening with the nausea came burping, which was so tiring and well disgusting too! It’s a lot, lot better now and as I’m approaching week 12 now (beginning this Saturday) I hope that nausea and burping won’t come back all of a sudden or at least not to the same extend 🙂

The pain I felt a couple of days ago also hasn’t returned, so that helped with my mood. I am still anxious before the appointment on Saturday, because it just feels like it’s going to be this big step to confirm everything. And I am still worried that something could happen, or that the baby is not growing as it should be, or that something else has gone wrong… Millions of thoughts! But I want to stay positive same as I was until now. Everything will be ok, everything will be ok…

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