I’ve been to the Early Bird meeting with a midwife this morning. This was a group meeting, and supposedly only for first time mums, but still some that had kids already have participated. It was a very informative meeting that lasted a bit longer than an hour.
The midwife talked about the scans and blood tests and what to expect from each of those. But also talked about healthy eating and exercising while pregnant. We’ve also been given our packs with pregnancy notes and some leaflets.
We’ve been told that the first scan should happen between 11th and 12th week, then the second by week 22 and the last one week 36. And that you might have a couple more after 22nd week if something is wrong, for example the placenta is really low, and they need to check more often to see if it will move to the correct position. It was good to hear what the scans are actually for and what they will be checking on them, how long they will last and so on.
She also talked about blood tests that we can expect, so the blood type one, but also the one that checks your iron levels in case you’re anaemic, or diabetic. She told us that they will recommend some things, like vaccines and additional tests but we always have a choice and can say no to any of those. Of course I would do any tests that wouldn’t harm the baby (like those invasive ones might), if those were recommended, but it was also good to know that you have a choice and if something doesn’t sound right to you, you don’t have to do it.
I was worried that I would be the only person without a partner with me, but there were three other girls that didn’t have anyone with them too. But what was most shocking to me was the fact that nearly half of the girls were underaged, and so some accompanied by their mums. I might be old fashioned (yes, I am, big time!) but this was still shocking. You’d like to think that all people around you in places like this are in the same situation as you, so have planned their babies and are happy to be pregnant, but it was sad to see that it’s not the case. And half of the kids were simply said “an accident”.
The meeting gave me a bit of peace of mind too, because I have been feeling a bit stressed for the past two days, after talking to my sister. She has two kids herself, so should understand that talking about what could go wrong to a pregnant woman, who hasn’t got any kids as yet, might not be the best idea. She made me feel like I’m the worst mum in the world, because I don’t have a private care and only rely on the public one. And that I don’t feel like I need a 3D or 4D scan, or whatever it is, and just want a normal one to find out if everything is ok. My sister’s both pregnancies were high risk, and she had a chance of miscarriage or premature labour, and had issues from the start in both cases. Thankfully both boys were born with no problems in the end, but she still felt the need to make me feel like my pregnancy could be at risk, and I’m not doing enough to ensure that everything is ok. I was really upset after, and kept thinking about it, because I haven’t had any issues so far and thought that everything was ok. But she made me feel like I was a bad mum already, because I’m not expecting the worst and not doing my best to check if everything is ok through a private care.
I do feel better now, having been to the meeting this morning, because same as I was saying until now, the midwife also assured us that pregnancy is not an illness, and we shouldn’t expect the worst, and should continue our life as normal, with maybe a few adjustments. And I still want to feel and think that way. Not let others bring me down, and make me believe that something is wrong or might be wrong, and I am a bad mum because I’m not spending money on private care.
Yes, if something was wrong, if I felt any pain or was bleeding (or spotting even), or felt really unwell, of course I wouldn’t wait and would do all I could to find out if everything was ok. But as long as I’m healthy and feel ok, and there’s nothing happening that would made me worry, I am going to keep believing that everything is ok, and neither my baby nor me are in any danger.